2025 - Bye, Bye, Bye!
2025 came in gently. The first six weeks filled with joy, calm, and peace. The resting and ease that felt like a new place, an extension and a payoff for all the hard work from previous years.
What I thought was the beginning of a gentle year would in actuality be the calm before the storm. A storm that would test my growth, push against my career path, test relationships, create upheaval and uncertainly, and demand a reassessment of so many pieces of myself. It asked me how much growth I had done, could my healing and growth allow me to step into the storms that would spin around me and still remain true to this new, gentler, peaceful version of myself.
I won’t pretend that as the storms hit, I didn’t find myself wondering what was happening, the why behind it. To be honest there were many times that “What the hell is actually happening?” ran through my mind. There were tears, sleepless nights, anxiety, feelings of being lost, self-isolating, and a desire to walk away and let everything burn, followed by contemplation about what this season of turmoil, upheaval, and difficulty was preparing me for.
As the year comes to a close - I can’t say exactly what it was preparing me for as some areas I still don’t have a clear path forward on - what I do know is that it tested my emotional intelligence, my peace, my calm, and at times had me wanting to rage; to scream, to fight, to defend myself, to point out the hypocrisies. It also forced me to stretch - to push outside of my comfort zone. I had to take chances and I had to make tough decisions. It was a time that I found myself digging deeply into myself, contemplating decisions and relationships, and the path that at one point had seemed extremely clear and that had felt comfortably perfect.
I firmly believe that as we continue to grow, as we continue to level up - we also have to shed. Shedding can be painful and difficult. There is grief involved. People don’t talk about that often enough. We think and are taught that as we level up, we shed what no longer serves us and it is presented in a way that makes us believe that it is simple and easy. That’s usually not the case.
Leaving relationships, networks, and connections behind is painful, we are often filled with doubt and uncertainty, it creates gaps and doesn’t always feel good. We may find that people were not who we made them out to be, people we trusted to protect us will hurt us, and some will even set out to harm us. We find that behaviors we once tolerated can no longer stand in the face of our changes. We find that as we change and heal and create clarity for ourselves that we cannot continue some relationships because they served a different purpose and a different season in our lives.
2025 came in as if its arms were going to cradle me and hold me steady - supporting growth in the most comfortable way. Rocking me gently and guiding me towards new adventures and opportunities without creating too much upheaval.
Instead, it put me through the paces! Wave after wave of emotions and moments that shook me and shifted me. At moments I felt broken, completely lost and without a lifejacket to fight for my life in treacherous waters, treading water, almost choking, ready to give up and then a short calm would come - allowing me to stop fighting for a bit, to catch my breath, to see some sunshine through the dark clouds and stormy waves that seemed to be constantly surrounding me, and then the next storm would hit.
What I did find in 2025 was that some people and some things must be left behind. In the leaving we must grieve. We grieve what we believed, what we defended, what we tolerated, and the loss of something we thought would be long lasting. In those moments of grief, a clarity also begins to form and rise; we face old versions of ourselves, we see pain we’ve caused, pain others have caused, and we find opportunities and growth in the midst of our grief and struggles.
We recognize that our growth makes others uncomfortable and sometimes it makes us uncomfortable. We realize we don’t need to continue to defend choices we made in survival mode; we don’t owe those details to most anyone - except ourselves. We find that our champions are often those who have always quietly sat in our corner, protecting us, believing in us, creating space for us to simply be and grow and cry and exist. At other moments we find our champions in new faces - who find a commonality with us. We find that some people will protect our names and others will not. We find our safe people and we find our safe spaces. We recognize the tables we should no longer sit at.
I leaned heavily on some of those wonderful people this year. I cried on shoulders. I was reminded by gentle voices that I am loved when I couldn’t quite feel loveable. I was reminded by those same voices of the challenges I have faced and overcome, and the people I have helped. They reminded me in those moments where I was feeling lost that my worth was not in the opinions of others, the decisions of corporations, or in the mistakes I have made.
2025 changed something in my heart and soul. It left parts of me broken and shattered into a million pieces. It also reminded me of where I’ve been, who I’ve been, who I have worked hard to become. It reminded me that in moments where others want to destroy - I want to build up- I want others to heal and thrive.
2025 also allowed me to go on new adventures, meet new people, see new places, and take chances! New opportunities are around happening, even when the world and the circumstances around us feel hard and heavy to navigate.
The year reminded me that I am not only a work in progress - always growing and shifting and creating - but also that my growth as well as my challenges have shaped me into the woman I am today. That is part of the journey. As long as we are committed to growing, to learning, and to loving ourselves - we will continue to survive the hits that we take and we will continue to thrive. I was reminded this year that it’s okay to not be okay…and then we have to shake ourselves up and start clawing our way but up from the pit of despair and uncertainty that we have been feeling.
2025 was heavy for so many people. I don’t know what 2026 has in store. I image more changes, more challenges, more finding myself and loving myself and others in the face of it all.
I’m taking time during these last few days of the year to look back, to acknowledge growth, acknowledge the pain, and to be grateful for all that life has given me and taken from me. I hope you are able to do the same. I’m stepping into 2026 prepared to face what comes my way - hopeful and with new goals and dreams and ready for new chapters.
Wishing us all a 2026 filled with opportunities, the ability to face and love the old and the new versions of ourselves, the ability to recognize what no longer serves us, and the courage to JUST JUMP! - without the safety net, without certainty - towards the life we are trying to build for ourselves.
What lessons are you taking with you in the new year? What are you leaving behind?
