Father’s Day

Yesterday was Father’s Day. A day people everywhere celebrate their dads and the men who had a positive impact on their lives.

As I went about my day, running errands and gardening, I found myself reflecting on this holiday and what it means to me.

Growing up, I had stepfather. He was cruel, abusive, and an all around terrible to live with. If you’ve read my book, you know enough about him to have a clear picture. My own father was in another country and we had no contact throughout my childhood or most of my adulthood until just two years ago.

Father’s Day was always complicated for me.

Yesterday my thoughts and reflection shifted from what I had been missing and lacking to what I had received.

I considered the men who had stepped into my life and showed me what kindness, encouragement, and support looked like. Not all were father figures in the traditional sense, but all made a lasting impact. Uncles, coaches, teachers, and the fathers of friends offered examples of what a loving father figure looked like by showing strength, compassion, and a steady presence. They encouraged me, supported me, and believed in me in ways that I my father figure at home did not.

I also found myself thinking of my husband.

He became a father at a young age and carried wounds from his childhood that required healing. Yet, day after day, he showed up for his children. He chose to be present. Like all parents, he had his good and his bad days but he never stopped trying and continued to show up. He taught our kids life lessons, created memories that have lasted a lifetime, offered guidance and provided love. Now he has the joy of watching those children raise their own families and he gets the love of an entire brood of grandchildren.

Yesterday reminded me that while I didn’t have the traditional father figures in my life, I was blessed to be surrounded my many wonderful father figures.

The people who shape us are not necessarily those who made us, but rather those who show up for us, support us, encourage us, offer life lessons, and love us.

To all the men who have loved, supported, mentored, encouraged, and offered guidance to others - THANK YOU! Your impact will last a lifetime.